


If I Only Could…

by extraordinary_fangrl



Series: Not So Little Moments [6]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Lumax, Mileven, Not So Little Moments, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, aka the relationship/chars development my kids DESERVE, ffs I meant THE relationship/CHARACTER development my kids deserve!, nslm part 6, screw the suffer bros honestly, typos are the bane of any sane writer’s existence ok, with a slice of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extraordinary_fangrl/pseuds/extraordinary_fangrl
Summary: Lucas, Dustin, and everyone else wanted to pretend like everything was fine with Max. Like she wasn’t forced to live with a raging asswipe of a stepfather and a blind fool for a mother. But Mike couldn’t, no matter how many times she pushed his buttons.He knew too much about abuse to keep his mouth shut.Part 6 of Not So Little Moments!
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield & Lucas Sinclair, Maxine "Max" Mayfield & Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Series: Not So Little Moments [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449016
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. I’d Be Runnin’ Up That Road

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back guys!
> 
> This was a tricky but fun part to write. I feel like I’ve gotten better with writing these characters, particularly Max and Mike and their unique (yet similar) voices. Hopefully you all feel the same once you finish.
> 
> I suggest reading Part 3 before diving in. These stories can stand on their own but there are hints to older parts in new releases that you won’t catch. I'd also listen to Placebo's cover of Runnin' Up That Hill while you read. Such a good version!
> 
> TW: elements and references to domestic/gun violence, post traumatic stress disorder, and panic attacks (first chapter) are present. Please tread carefully and enjoy!

**Hawkins, Indiana**

**July 4, 1986  
  
**

_Large, yet delicate fingers glided across the fretboard, the tips caressing each cord like a knitter weaving her thread. Each strum sparked a chorus of notes. Deep, euphonious cries, calling out to Mike. They fueled the embers of his desire to find the lyrics. That perfect blend of words capable of not only complementing his melody, but also possessing enough power to stand on its own two feet. Something that could reach through even the strongest walls of the heart and pull, no matter which emotion it unearthed._

_Whether the blast radius was of resurgence or devastation, both were better alternatives than feeling_ **_nothing at all_** _._

 _Mike had been numb once upon a time, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. The bullet didn’t shatter his spine that night after he and El had slipped through the defenses of one of the Soviets’ gulags, yet he felt paralyzed. He felt numb after the piercing burn struck his nerves, when his hand was crushed between concrete and the back of the girl he loved._ **_Even_ ** _when he could hear the tears in her cries without having to rely on his darkening vision._

_Out of all the insane shit he’d experienced in the last three years, his brush with death was the thing to push him over that edge. All it took was one last, sharp prick for his heart to be reduced to stone. A cold, unmoving mass that had only seemed to twitch around El. It was a good thing for a while, the mere thought of seeing her smile just enough to get him out of bed every morning. However, it became evident that she would be his only ambition if left alone, which sparked a well overdue intervention._

_His parents - well really_ **_his mother_** _, she was the staple in his recovery while his father was more concerned with the hospital bills - led the charge along with the support of his sister and friends. It wasn’t the quickest transition, as they were up against Mike’s natural obstinacy_ **_and_ ** _the boost of his juvenile hormones. He went from dismissing every invitation to leave his house to dodging any rule he deemed too strict once he finally yearned for a change in scenery. There wasn’t common ground for weeks until he returned home from school one day. He had been a slumped mess when he stepped into his room, but the exhaustion dissipated from his bones as soon as he found the guitar case._

_The guitar looked exactly like the four-string Gibson Victory Bass he saw through the window of a shop he had strolled past the weekend before Spring Break. The very sight of its glossy, midnight blue base galvanized a pipe dream of playing like John Lennon or Jimi Hendrix. It was out of his reach, as he couldn’t afford the guitar or its lessons. Plus, it was protected by the same foundation of the shop's former moniker - Radio Shack - and reopening an old wound was the last thing he had wanted. But then it was right before his eyes, propped up against his bed instead of collecting dust on a display._

_Suddenly, he could feel the warmth rush to his soul in all its intensity. He’d sense it every time he played his first chord of the day, even if it was a poor start to a tune he couldn’t shake. He felt revived, truly alive for the first time in…_ **_months_** _. Even before his accident._

_He still had his demons, sure, but he also had a new and improved way to exercise them._

**_“I was lost in the void, no way out...”_ **

_Mike’s dark ringlets careened over his shoulder as he shook his head, his fingers halting over the fretboard. They hovered there for a moment before flexing back to their assigned notes, his left hand guiding the first strain of the same chorus._

**_“I was lost in the void, no way out._ **

**_Then the light came in, bigger than I’ve ever seen.”_ **

_His sonorous bellowing concluded with a ponderous exhale as he loosened his grip around the neck of his guitar. In the same beat, he grasped at the pen tucked behind his ear and dipped to the side, right over the fresh page of his spiral notebook._

_“Better than nothing, I guess.”_

_“It’s certainly a good start.”_

_Mike whirled to the door, his wide eyes softening at the sight of his mother._

_“But there’s always room to improve,” she hinted, her tone reeking of that familiar, reposeful tone. “Light can be big, yes. But it’s always_ **_bright_** _, no matter the_ **_size_** _.”_

_He gaped at her, his narrowed eyes flitting between the suggestive glimmer in her irises and the sneaky curve of her mouth. Then, the flickering light bulb inside his head irradiated a steady glow, his gaze darting to his notes._

_“Oh… That does sound better, thanks.”_

_Mike made quick work of the correction, scratching out the word ‘bigger’_ _with a sloppy, disproportionate ‘X’ mark before scrawling its replacement over the blue line. When he was finished, he turned to face his mother again, blinking at the smile gracing her lips._

 _Before he could question her…_ **_mom-like_ ** _behavior, she beat him to the punch, her frame still lingering between his bedroom and the hall._

_“I didn’t mean to interrupt. It’s just… it’s nice to hear you play. You’re making me wish I still had my Steel String, but that’s a story for another day.”_

_Karen finally took her steps through the threshold, her strides halting at the foot of her son’s bed. “Right now, I think we should have a talk.”_

_Somehow, Mike’s pale complexion only lightened, it's shade nearly a twin to a blank sheet of paper._

_“No, not_ **_that_ ** _talk. Your father was hoping to avoid it, and that’s why we made you take that sex education class,” she said, biting back a chuckle at his theatrical deflation. “You haven’t been to the parade since you were Holly’s age, and I still don’t like the idea of leaving you at home by yourself, so I thought you could go with Nancy when she heads to the school.”_

_The eldest of the Wheeler siblings had spent a chunk of her senior year reporting for the Hawkins High-ly News, so it was only right that she would have a front row seat at the sports exhibition. It was an annual event, celebrating the men and women in uniform and showcasing the athletic abilities of the students. Since last year had been in the spotlight of the softball field in Riverview Park, it was time for the basketball court in the school’s new and improved gymnasium to shine. As well as Lucas’ renewed skills, namely his iron strength and lightning-fast speed._

_His work over the last year had granted him a spot on one of the opposing teams, and Max was his cheerleader (contrary to her burning distaste for pep, pom-poms, and pleated skirts) so it was a no-brainer she would be there. If she was there, El would show up too, as well as the rest of the Party. Mike, however, was still on a tight leash. He could only go so far, which wasn’t much despite some of the freedoms he had earned along his path of finding some normalcy._

_At least, that_ **_was_ ** _his impression a couple minutes ago, when he was still deep within the symphony of his reverie._

_”But the game doesn’t start until four. That, plus the tribute speech, and Nancy… she’s gonna wanna go over her notes for her article...”_

_Mike hesitated, his round eyebrows soaring beneath the curtains of his bangs._

_“I’d miss curfew!”_

_“I can overlook one night, as long you’re home by ten,” was Karen’s swift reply, her stance firm against the bed frame._

_“OK, but El’s gonna be there, and she hasn’t exactly been on your guest list for family dinners. Not since, well, y’know…” His words hit a roadblock on the ride up his throat._

_Rather than attempting to pass it, he stayed quiet, letting the silence permeate through the air. It grew in thickness the longer he avoided eye contact, but he could still feel the weight of his mother’s gaze. He tried to shoulder it when he shrugged off the strap of his guitar, but it might as well have slapped him across the face, because his shoulder protested at the movement. He hissed out a breath, easing through the sharp pinch. But he couldn’t let the offense go without shooting an equally piercing glare at the spot below his clavicle._

_The mattress dipped at his left, drawing his gaze to a duo of denim limbs as they draped over the edge before settling on his own legs._

_“No, I don’t think what you two have will last when you go off to college. And I still don’t like how_ **_reckless_ ** _you can get whenever she’s caught in some problem.”_

_Mike bit back a scoff, the sound departing from his lips in a hushed exhale. His mother had heard it from him enough to know his intent. Nevertheless, it was her turn to take a breath - allowing the fresh air to cool the rising, hot flames of her pique._

_“-_ ** _But_ ** _I know she has a good heart, just like someone else I know. So, she can’t be all that bad.” She bumped his shoulder with a gentle jab, but it was her words that finally called to Mike’s full attention._

_His eyes stretched to her warm yet dark irises, their width paling in comparison to his mouth. His surprise melted under the heat of his mother’s beaming smile. He found himself attempting to match her features, his mouth curling into a shadow of a smile._

_“Thanks Mom.”_

**_Later…_ **

_“So, the goal is to score the biggest number by shooting a ball into that net… thing? And the winner… Do they get the same trophies, like in football and softball?_

_Mike shrugged a shoulder, his space shifting once again from the booming gymnasium to the serene air of his bubble with El._

_“Well it depends, I guess. This is just a laid back version, so whoever wins won’t get a big prize, like a championship trophy, but they do get a good popularity boost.”_

_”Oh,” she breathed, her features lax in a flat expression before pinching around her eyes. “Well, the blue team would have had the highest number already if Lucas was playing.”_

_He scanned along the sidelines and stopped at the end of the bench, his gaze finding the back of his best friend’s jersey. He glanced to the net, then the backboard, his eyes taking in the vermillion numbers of the scoreboard._

_“We’ve still got time left. And Max’s fuse will blow before then. Hard to see anyone argue with her after that.”_

_“Shit, it probably already blew when she left to go get the snacks. That’s why it’s taking so long,” Dustin chimed in, jutting his head past Will’s shoulder so they could catch his shit-eating grin._

_Blaring, wild cheering flooded back to the drums of Mike’s ears, ripping him back into the chaos of the game. He barely had time to read the dwindling seconds of the clock, or focus on anything for more than a minute._

_“She was sad though, even before the game. She doesn’t talk about it, but I know she misses Billy.”_

_El’s light yet lucid voice brought him back to her. But a troublesome cloud had darkened their space, and Mike could no longer feel the tranquil warmth. Still, he met her gaze, her warm, honey irises burning with all the worries she didn’t verbalize. She didn’t have to, her look had been enough to compel his attention to the seat at the end of their row - its gaping vacancy nagging at the small pit in his stomach._

_Max had offered to go get them something to munch on about a full hour into the game. That was thirty-minutes ago, almost two quarters into the match._ **_Too_ ** _long of a time to be standing in front of a vending machine. Even if the thing was cursed, he would still manage to at least retrieve a bag of Doritos and leave in five minutes. Or he would just leave with his dignity and a half-baked apology once he was certain it wouldn’t budge._

 _He had quite a short fuse too, so he knew she wasn’t hunting for the nearest, working junk food dispenser. However, before he could even think of where she_ **_would_ ** _go, a high-pitched hiss shook him out of his thoughts. He recovered just in time to greet Lucas as he waved him over, and he rose from his seat, giving a gentle squeeze to El’s hand in a promise of his return before leaping down the stairwell._

_The boys met at the last two steps, Mike’s elbow digging into cold steel as he leaned into the railing._

_“I’d say you were on fire out there, but we both know you’ve just been keeping the bench warm.”_

_“Is it bad that I’m wishing the guy in my place jukes a little_ **_too hard_ ** _on the next play?” Lucas jested, his spirits high even at the quick decline of his grin. “But seriously, at this rate, I’m just glad Max dipped before she could see this show get ten times shittier.”_

_Mike peeped a glance at his feet, noting the way his knotted laces swept over the insignia of his sneakers. “And miss the chance to rip Coach Scott a new one? Nah, she just needed a break.”_

_Lucas nodded, his soft, brown eyes overshadowed by the frown deforming his lips. Yet, their gleam remained, even when the whistle blew, forcing him to return to the bench while the remainder of the quarter resumed. In fact, they burned brighter in the seconds preceding his eventual turn, just as they did when Max had gone missing last winter._

_The mere memory of its heat was enough to get Mike moving again, his stomps detaching from the steps of the bleachers and treading around to the door. It clicked shut behind him as he entered the hall, his steps slowing to a stop before resumed his walk._

_He didn’t have an exact idea of where she could be. There were many possibilities, and a handful of them had all fallen along the same straight line, so he followed that path. His stare zigzagged across each side, scanning through the glass panes of the classrooms. He didn’t stop until his feet rounded the corner, turning right into the next hall._

_Three more rooms made up one side, while lockers lined the other wall. She stood across from one, the lights stapled into the ceiling highlighting a crinkled hood and a fraction of her auburn tresses. However, once he resumed his pace, his gaze was more attentive to the figure behind her shield. The very sight of his bleached spikes and cocksure smirk sparked the embers of Mike’s core, his treads once again gaining more speed._

_“Well look what the cat dragged in! I just ran out of grass, Wheelman, so you’re gonna have to come back on Monday.”_

_Max cursed under her breath, her teeth grinding against each other. Luckily, they were guarded by the tight exterior of her mouth, her pressed lips holding firm even as she spun around to face the rude interruption._

_“I’m not here for a smoke, Dennis. Even if I was, it wouldn’t be from_ **_you_** _,” Mike scoffed, turning his attention to the task at hand. “I don’t know what you heard, but I’m pretty sure Dustin asked for Reese’s. Not a botched batch of coke.”_

_Refusing to entertain him with the slur of sharp words edging off the tip of her tongue, she scoffed and returned her attention to her purchase. But she moved with more haste than before, swapping her cash for a small bottle of booze and a bag of green. Just as fast, she stashed both into the gap between the crevice of her right arm and chest before charging around Mike._

_Her high-tops gained momentum across the smooth tiled flooring, only slowing when she whirled around a corner. Finally, they screeched to a stop in front of her locker, and she worked on twirling the dial. However, because she was too focused on recalling the combination, she had left her possessions bare under his radar. Hell, she had almost forgotten he was right on her tail if it hadn’t been for the jolt of his theft. The air washed into the cluttered space of her locker, but not before she could swipe them back._

_And certainly not without retaliating with a cutting jab of her own._

_“That look like ice to you? I thought you were shot in the back, not the blinkers.”_

_Mike’s grip around the eight ounces of marijuana went slack upon her words, allowing her to swipe the bag from his clutches as if another second granted him the chance to crush its precious contents. She had struck a nerve, but it wasn’t her first time._

_Max grimaced, her pointed glare melting from her features as she avoided his gaze. Yet, she covered up the lapse in resolve by sticking her face into the darkness of her locker._

_It was a decent cover, cloaking her from his indisputable anger while she stuffed her backpack. However, she made the mistake of thinking she was quick enough, slamming the door and turning to the path leading toward the game. Before she could storm away, a rangy hand had caught her arm._

_His grip wasn’t strong enough to mark her, yet she was struck with the cold sensation of Neil’s rough skin._

_She saw_ **_him_** _._

_She heard his filthy words._

_She smelled his hot, rancid breath._

**_She could never escape_** _, no matter how hard she fought._

_Even as she whirled around and ripped herself free from Mike’s hand, the damage had already been done. She pulled at the azure sleeve, brushing a hand underneath the cuff and over her hair tie before kneading slow strokes into the base of her wrist._

_The tips of her fingers smoothed up without a care, rubbing away the invisible mark while also_ _exposing her real ones to the light._

_He caught them faster than she did. Yet, it was the blistering red dots etched into her arm that had stoked his flames. The thin, yet lengthy brims of his nails stabbing into his palm._

_“When did he do that?”_

_Max went still, ceasing her scraping around the scabbed edge of the burn._

_“Doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about this with you.”_

_Again, she made a move to leave. But Mike had charged into her space before she made an advance, his burst of speed uncanny and somehow rivaling her role as their Party’s Zoomer._

_“Lucas is too nice to say this to you, so I will,” he sneered, heat flaring from his nostrils. “_ ** _You need help_ ** _\- not from drugs, not from him or anyone else that can’t arrest or off that asswipe. If you don’t get it, the next place you’ll be is dead in some ditch.”_

 _“Why the hell do you care?! I’m not your girlfriend,_ _I barely even see you as my friend!”_

_He faltered, his words failing him once again despite their glaring appearance in his thoughts._

_Max, however, retained her seething stare. “That’s what I thought. So save us both the migraine and stay out of my business.”_

_At last, she pushed past him, practically jogging back to the gymnasium. She didn’t care to check if he was on her trail, or stop by Billy’s locker to see all the flowers and “Rest In Peace” notes written by complete strangers. She just_ **_ran_** _, each pounding step sharp enough to bruise the undersides of her feet._

_Her strides only slowed when she charged through the gym door, and her throbbing heart didn’t decelerate until she had slumped onto the bench._

_She closed her eyes, the chorus of voices mixed with Dustin’s_ **_loud_ ** _dismay about her returning empty handed fading with the light._

_“... Holy shit, they’re actually letting him play!”_

_The sound of Will’s voice cut through the haze of her mind, the surprise of hearing him curse for the first time forcing her vision to resurface. Her gaze found a navy jersey rushing under the cover of whoever’s head had taken up her view of the court. Still, she could make out the vivid, gold digits. Together, they spelled out the number forty-two, and she bolted onto her feet upon the realization._

_She watched his march to the side in preparation for the opening tip and his race to catch the ball at the left end. She even bore witness to him stepping behind the three-point line and hopping into the crisp air. Her gaping gaze only wandered to the rubber sphere while it soared, eyeing the trail to the hoop with baited breath. The ball ricocheted off the backboard, swirling around the rim for longer than she could function without oxygen. Finally, it fell through the net, and the air crackled with thundering applause._

_Before Max could join the chorus of uproarious voices, Lucas had found her among the crowd. Out of all the faces he could have searched for, he chose hers. He beamed at_ **_her_** _, his whole face lighting up like the sun. He was her daylight, gracing her with a brilliance so warm, as if the heat had spread to her nerves like wildfire. Yet the warmth was a salve for her wounds, soothing her worries while the rest of the game commenced._

_Of course, they lingered at the rear of her mind, fighting to gain control of the forefront. She could feel every prowl, every guttural whisper slicing at her armored skin. Still, the thick exterior held firm, and she retained enough strength for one more battle. One more bone deep scar or blood drawing bruise - just as long as it didn’t steal any more light from her friends._

_From_ **_Lucas_** _, her constant, burning star._

 _The final seconds dwindled down to ten, but it only took him one to shoot the ball, his fingers curling around the ball as he hoisted it into the hoop. The net jostled to accommodate the passage as the clock reached zero, signaling the whirs of the buzzer. The bleachers roared to life, and this time Max tested the limits of her vocal cords. For once -_ **_and one time only_ ** _\- she was his cheerleader._

_And he never let her hear the end of it, even as the day drifted to dusk, and most of the students had flocked to the courtyard._

_“It was amazing, Max! I felt unstoppable, like… like Magic Johnson when he mopped the floor with Gerald Henderson in the NBA Finals!”_

_She arched a thick, angled brow. “But the_ **_Celtics_ ** _won that round. So by your logic, it’d be the other way around.”_

 _“ **You** _ **_wouldn’t know_ ** _since you dozed off during overtime.” Lucas deflected the tip of her elbow when it lunged at his side, the glow of his grin dimming with his next words._

_“I’m just happy you stayed conscious for the real thing, even though you disappeared for a little bit... I almost went looking for you myself.”_

_Her focus fell to the table, her sleeves protecting her arms from the cold and the chipped wood as she crossed her arms._

_“I just needed to stretch my legs. Those benches aren’t too comfy, y’know,” she beamed, though her smirk wasn’t relaxed enough to pass his vibe check._

_He recaptured her attention with his hand, his soft touch coaxing the merge of their fingers. “You don’t have to explain, I get it. I know today was hard for you, I just wish I could have_ **_done_ ** _more.”_

 _“Nope, hell no. I know where this is going and we are_ _not_ _going there_ _.”_

_She softened her heated gaze, her eyes twinkling with more light than her shadow of a smile._

_“You have done -_ **_you are_ ** _doing more than enough by just_ **_being here_** _. I’m not sure anyone has told you this, Stalker, but you’re pretty hard to ghost.”_

_“Or you’ve just lost your magic touch, Mad Max,” Lucas parried, readying himself for a jab at yet another sliver of his tender, unguarded skin._

_To his surprise, however, the blow never came. He only faced the wrath of her signature glare, which honestly wasn’t all that intimidating with the blush setting her cheeks ablaze. They were so red, hot enough to reinforce the steel of his confidence._

_"I could go pro one day, you know. Get drafted after I finish school. I’ll go to the Lakers, and once I become a household name, we’ll get a beach house in Malibu or something.”_

_Max stiffened, the heat in her complexion cooling to a raw, more frigid hue than her natural tone._

_His assertion, the way he just outright assumed she would still be in his life at that point shook her to the core. It was a good surprise, like when she moved to Indiana thinking her life was over when she still drew breath. It scared her, yet filled her heart with hope. The two sensations came hand in hand, and it was hard to discern which would prevail when the time came. But right now, in the present, it was easy to mourn or celebrate over a future that was premature._

**_Too easy_** _._

_For both their sakes, she opted from a verbal reply. Instead, she settled on a nod, her fingers tugging his hand closer as she rested against his shoulder. A soft breath left her when Lucas slipped an arm around the small of her back. She almost allowed herself to succumb to his warmth, until a handful of his teammates approached their table, sparking the swift rise of her head._

_Ryan, the team captain of the school’s official basketball team (and the coach’s nephew,_ **_unironically_** _) was the first to speak._

_“Hey, Lucas right? Your jumpshot could use some tweaking, but nice job on scoring us some points. We would’ve lost that game otherwise.”_

_Max leered his way, a sharp retort about her boyfriend’s form being just fine right on the crest of her tongue. Luckily, Lucas sensed her raging storm before it could wreak havoc._

_“Thanks. It was cool to see all my practice be put to good use out there. Hopefully it’ll be just as smooth when I try out next semester.”_

_“Oh yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you were interested in joining the team.” Ryan curled his mouth in a pasted smile._

_“Speaking of… we were just about to head off to the after party, celebrate our hard work and all. My place has everything: booze, babes, and bowling. You in?”_

_He directed a glance at Max, the size of his grin remaining the same size - at least under the lens of the naked eye. “Unless you want to stay with this one, which is totally understandable. I’d ditch these airheads in a heartbeat if she was my girl!”_

_Laughter erupted from his mouth, then from the two boys - his teammates and_ **_supposed friends_ ** _\- he had just insulted. Lucas joined them near the grand finale, shaking off his displeasure to force a chuckle through the back of his throat._

_“That sounds awesome, but I can’t make it. Her stepdad is uh… a wet blanket. So she’s gotta be home soon, and I’m her ride.”_

_Max had known better than to fight the fluttering inside of her chest, but she could at least make sure he didn’t miss out on a golden opportunity._

_Sure, it was sweet he wanted to uphold his promise to her. And she’d be lying if she claimed she didn’t find Ryan repulsive. Hell, the mere thought of the meathead ever thinking he could even maintain a friendship with some poor girl even_ **_remotely_ ** _similar to her made her skin crawl. But she couldn’t ignore his winning deck: a whole mansion’s worth of his father’s money and a library shelved with countless connections._

_If Lucas was really serious about basketball, he needed all the advantages he could get. And she was going to make sure he got them._

_“Actually, you should go. Take the night off.”_

_His wide, russet irises swiveled her way, gawking at her as if she had shapeshifted into a demo-dog._

_“Really? Your place isn’t just a few blocks away. You’d freeze even_ **_if_ ** _I gave you my jacket.”_

 _“I’ll be just fine, Drama King,” Max insisted, holding in her urge to shiver through a whistling current of the brisk wind. “I can ask El for a ride, or catch the bus if all else fails. Go have fun, make some_ **_new friends_** _.”_

_It took a solid moment to convince him, but the edge in her narrowed gaze helped sell her point. Or, at the very minimum, had quelled the waves of his endearingly saccharine worry._

_“Yeah, alright,” he finally agreed, nodding. “But I’ll have to call my parents first, let them know I’ll be home a little later.”_

_Ryan waved him off._

_“Just meet us there, you know Loch Nora? It’s the big, brick house with the gnarly Lambo in the front, can’t miss it.”_

_Without waiting on a reply from Lucas, he backed away and turned to the other side of the courtyard._ _His friends trailed a step behind, leaving the table to its previous guests._

_“I could ask my dad if he could give you a ride instead. I mean, I don’t think he’d mind. I actually think he likes your humor-”_

_Lucas relented, the rest of his words dying at the sight of those gleaming, ocean blue daggers._

_“Alright, fine. But I’m walking you out. Chivalry is_ **_not_ ** _dying on my watch.”_

 _Somehow, he had mustered up enough gall to square her with a pointed look of his own. The sight was so rare that she didn’t know whether to be impressed by his courage, agitated by his audacity, or bewildered about just_ **_how_ ** _susceptible he could be to her fire. So much so that she could have sworn he was sponge._

_After a minute, Max sheathed her glare, her mouth twitching in spite of the clockwise spin of her eyes. He stole a kiss from her as she rose to match his height, his peck igniting the embers beneath her cool cheek. Despite her swat across his arm, her shadow of a smile stretched a few inches wider instead of melting away like usual._

_Beside her boyfriend and the cozy calm he never ceased to radiate, the rest of the world didn’t matter. The whispers fell flat upon reaching her ears, and if people were staring at them, she wouldn’t have noticed nor cared. Soaking up the security of her safety net was far more important. As long as whatever clock they followed continued to tick, the shorter the time she had left of her safe haven._

_A breath of fresh, ingestible air,_ _far_ _away from that shell of a grave her mother wouldn’t stop calling their home._

_She felt the goosebumps wash over her arms when they reached the parking lot, her pace slowing to a stop at the bike racks._

_Lucas picked up on her unease, his own panic seeping through the cracks._

_“I won’t stay out for too long, but if anything happens before I can leave-” He choked on the unspoken words, but her vice-like grip tightened around his fingers, revitalizing his resolve to finish._

_“Don’t touch your walkie or your phone,_ **_OK_** _? Go straight to my house and knock, just like we practiced.”_

_“Three times, three pauses. Easy on the memory, just like my name,” Max teased, breathing a heavy chortle. “I’m starting to see the charm.”_

_He attempted to match her laughter, but his chuckle heaved from his lungs in a quiet puff. It was_ **_weak_** _, just as his desire to leave her. However, he knew she could take care of herself, so he swallowed his pride and allowed his loud thoughts to recite a mantra. A string of short, but straight words, renewing his strength as he gave her hand one final squeeze before hopping on his bike._

_Watching him leave only seemed to make her blood run colder, but she couldn’t look away. Not until he was out of her sight, far and safe from the range of her crash site. He would see her crumble and rush to pick up the pieces, but that would just make things worse. His care would erode the armor she needed to endure another ear-splitting, volatile night._

_Max sniveled into her palms, her hot breath washing over her skin. The warmth spread to the backs of her bare hands as she rubbed them together, and she cupped her hands over her face again to give her body another boost of heat. However, she barely felt the second wave of warmth, her stare wandering to something - or really_ **_someone_ ** _\- she didn’t want to see._

_Her glance fleeted from his, but that didn’t stop him from seeing her, his thumb flicking at the wheel of his lighter._

_“Damn, must’ve been one hell of an offer to get Lucas to leave you behind.”_

_She should have just ignored him, or kicked a cloud of dirt in her wake before she stomped off. But she did neither, falling right into the same old trap he laid out for her every time they clashed._

_“Shouldn’t you be sucking the life out of El in the back of your sister’s car or something?”_

_Mike snorted, his back rising against the driver's seat door of Nancy’s Toyota. “You should ask Hopper, he’s the one that whisked her back to the castle.”_

_Max scowled and reeled a poor kick at the wreck, the tip of her shoe clanking against the empty shell of stainless steel. Fire still fueled her core, and she needed another way to fan its flames. Heaving a sigh, she stepped down from the sidewalk and trudged across the parking lot. Three vacant spaces later, she stopped just behind the thick white line, the only barrier standing between them._

_“Lucas didn’t_ **_want_ ** _to leave me.” She leveled him with her flared pupils, which melted as soon as she regained her voice._

_“Some jockstraps from the basketball team invited him to a party, and I convinced him to go.”_

_“Ah. So he finally went full jock, huh?” He dipped his head, his smirk fading along with the rest of his amusement._

_An itch surfaced in her throat, and she would have relieved it with a short, yet fervent snicker. In most cases, at least. But for some strange and frustrating reason, she couldn’t bring the noise to life. Not while Mike assumed a look she had deemed the “kicked-puppy” guise. His eyes were the crown jewel, sullen with a hint of tamed fury as they stared at anything_ **_but_ ** _her._

_Damn brown eyes and their deceptive innocence._

_“Why the long face, Wheeler? It's not like he’s off at some boot camp, training to ward off_ **_another_ ** _Soviet invasion.”_

_Mike’s head shot up from its bend, his sight a flickering mess._

_“No, that’s… much_ _worse! Fucking hell, thanks for the image,” he huffed out a chuckle, his hot breath clouding over the twitch of her mouth._

_A stillness settled between them, but it was calmer. Cool as the wisps of air rustling around them, free of the flammable tension that had always seemed to spark. For once, they were just two incandescent flickers of light, kindling the darkness without setting it and everything else aflame. Only time would tell how long their unspoken respite would last, or if it would even survive at all._

_Mike mulled over this fact during the last few beats of silence before shattering it with his words. His deep but soft voice filling the air as if he was freeing himself from a heavy burden._

_“I love El, Lucas is like my brother, and they both care about you.”_

_Max snapped to him with narrowed eyes, her arms looping around each other as she listened to him continue._

_“That’s what I wanted to say when you asked why I cared,” he clarified, ghosting a finger over the cool iron of the lighter as he shoved it into his denim pocket. “But I didn’t because it was only a part of the truth, and I didn’t know the rest then.”_

_He didn’t match the fire in her eyes until her lips parted, giving away her attempt to argue. When she sighed and sealed them back together, his gaze cooled to its former temperature._

_“Lucas likes you -_ **_like really likes you_** _. That’s why I stopped fighting it when you wanted to join our party, but I still have to watch his back. So... if you feel the same way he does, don’t make him fight a battle he can’t win.”_

_His voice lingered in an echo, but Max wasn’t sure if it came from the air they were breathing or if it was just in her head. Either way, receiving the sound had sucked her into her whirlpool of a mind. A hush fell over them, allowing her time to settle not just her blustering thoughts, but the dreadful sinkhole in the pit of her belly._

_Love was still a foreign concept for her, even though she had people who cared about her. Receiving that intimacy had been tough, and she was still struggling with reciprocating certain efforts. Especially in regards to her fondness for Lucas, which hadn’t stopped blooming since that night at the junkyard. And to think their shared affection would grow into something real - something worth all the blood, sweat, and tears - was a step in fantasyland._

_One step too many._

_The click of a door latching back into place cut the link with her rumination, her head turning to Nancy._

_“Please just douse me with ice water the next time I think writing_ **_and_ ** _editing an article for three hours straight is a good idea.”_

_She descended from the steps, her big breath of a sigh sweeping a thick curl into her eyes._

_“Why can’t your boyfriend do it? I thought that was a perk of dating on the job,” Mike shot back, a triumphant grin on his lips._

_Nancy made a face, mumbling a slur of words to match his retort. Along the way, she caught a flash of blazing red hair as its proprietress had turned to leave._

_“Did I just walk in on a round of Battle of the Wits, or did you two actually have your first heart-to-heart?”_

_It was his turn to glance at Max, though his peek had shifted into a full-on scan. His stare swept over her empty expression before ricocheting to her ghost white fingers. All five appendages clung to the straps of her bag as if her very life depended on the strength of her grip._

_“Actually, I was just getting ready to-”_

_“-Answer my question,” Mike intercepted, his Adam’s apple bobbing along with his swallow as the spotlight loomed over his head. “I figured we’d all be hungry after the game, so I asked Max if she wanted to go get a burger or something.”_

_“ **And** _ **_I_ ** _was going to thank him for the invite. But I can’t, I need to catch the bus before it leaves. It’s my only ride home and I have to be there before nine,” she said, her reply clear and perceptible despite the clenching of her jaw._

_Nancy’s features softened. “I could give you a lift, save you some money and at least another hour to do… whatever you want.”_

_Max blinked, her mouth twisting to subject the cracked rind of her bottom lip to her teeth. She had spent all her cash on drugs. Besides, if there were some left to spend on a fare, the city bus usually ran routes according to the alphabet. Her house would be the last stop, whether the seats were filled to the brim or halfway empty._

_Still, her nagging insecurities of being a burden kept her from outright accepting the offer._

_“I honestly don’t mind the extra stop, but I get it. I prefer to do things on my own too.” Nancy nodded, the light from her kind smile extending to her eyes._

_“Though it does feel good to rely on someone every once in a while, especially when_ _food’s involved_ _.”_

_The walls of Max’s stomach trembled, its grumbles smashing through the cracks of her concrete resolve._

_“In that case… yeah. I could eat.”_

_The rest of the evening progressed in a favorable manner, starting with the awaited arrival of a belated meal. Greta’s Griddle had been a ghost town, but the food was better than Max had expected. She ordered a regular steak-burger, yet the flavor exceeded far beyond anything she had ever eaten from a diner. Even the strawberry milkshake tasted like pure_ **_heaven_** _, contrary to Mike’s belief of it just being a reaction to her hunger. She was more than willing to test his theory, though he didn’t approve of her method - a blatant but rapid pillaging of his chicken strip basket._

_She was the first to clean her plate, so she passed the time with a tour of the little restaurant. The displays were telling of the Midwest’s obsession with farm culture, and a few of the photos had a refreshing change of scenery from horses. The jukebox, on the other hand, stood out like a sore thumb. Its oddball of a color scheme didn’t match with the theme at all, despite the upbeat riffs of a banjo squawking through the speaker._

_The lady behind the counter had her back turned, too preoccupied with serving up another cup of coffee to stop her. She pressed a button among the several that made up the panel, triggering the switch to a more rampant guitar solo. The flicks, coupled with guttural, resonant vocals, took her back to her last summer in California. She could smell the salted waters of the Pacific, feel the warm embrace of the sun, even hear Nate’s voice as he quoted one of his God-awful puns. However, just like a shook up soda can, his jokes didn’t stop pouring from that chapter of her life._

_Max was able to control their reach, at least until the bill was paid and she had followed the Wheeler siblings back to the car. She was asked about her song choice, and she found herself revisiting those pages. It wasn’t easy at first, even though she had trusted Lucas with some of those memories. But then Nancy slid a disc into her music player, filling the car with a track she could recall from Stevie Nicks’ newest album, and the words flowed from her without another thought._

_Bringing her hometown to life coaxed a smile from her as she spoke, but her joy ran by the hourglass of the ride. Soon, every grain of sand had filled the flipped end, and the door of her house came into view. The layer of paint was weathered, just like her armor. Yet she powered through, freeing her wrist from the band and securing her hair in a taut ponytail. Somehow, her feet guided her from the backseat of the car and across the stone path. She rushed up the steps to her porch, channeling a strength she would have never been able to find under watchful, pitiful eyes._

_Unfortunately, Mike wasn’t the one to spare her that courtesy. Her safety took a higher precedence, and it was compromised. He didn’t want to shove it under the rug like Max could, or Dustin and Lucas and anyone else trusted with the knowledge of her pain. He couldn’t just wait until they had finished high school when it was years away, and the abuse was happening_ ** _right_** **_now_** _._

_If it had been El in Max’s shoes, he would curse all the repercussions to hell and beat Neil to a pulp. Not wasting away in his seat trying to will away his fury: a deep, seething fire growing with the distance between him and Old Cherry Road. The flames were so hot, the scorching heat oozed into the very air he exhaled, the same air he had shared with his sister._

_Nancy shot a glance his way, though she was met with a cold shoulder rather than a face. However, the air was thick with so much tension, it didn’t matter whether there was a scowl or narrowed eyes._

_She could feel the raging storm looming over their heads._

_“I don’t like leaving her either, Mike. But we’re doing everything we can.”_

_“Yeah, I doubt that. But I guess it’s more than her mom will ever do.”_

_He would have spent another minute burning lasers into the window if the car hadn’t jerked to a stop, forcing his whole slender frame to lurch against the seatbelt. The clash extorted a vulgar imprecation from his throat, but its volume was muted behind a winded grunt._

_With the aid of the overhead light casting a glow upon their seats, he veered a heated look at Nancy. Although, he lost his edge upon meeting her daggers, which were sharp enough to slice him in two._

_“You don’t have a clue what it’s like to be treated so… barbarically by someone who’s supposed to love you. The only thing she can control is how she copes,_ **_on her terms_** _, and we don’t get to say what that is.”_

_She sighed, her hand falling from the ignition as the engine’s steady whirring died to one last murmur._

_“I’m not saying you can’t have an opinion at all, you just have to_ **_think_ ** _before you speak. You can’t control where your words go when they leave you, or who it reaches - who it hurts…”_

 _Not even a minute after challenging her with his gaze, he evaded any and all eye contact. Sure, it made him look like a coward caught with his tail between his legs. Though nothing would really change if he had held on. He would still look like a brain dead halfwit if he threw in an attempt to articulate his words_ **_without_ ** _face planting over them._

_Like an average person._

_But Mike was tongue-tied as if all his retorts had been wiped from memory. Max was good, even more intimidating than he led her to believe, yet she wasn’t strong enough to strip away his confidence. She couldn’t belittle him with no filter or dismiss his passions like they were blobs of gum on the bottom of her shoes. Only his father had that power, and he hadn’t been his sole victim._

_It began with his mother, little remarks about her cooking or how she had missed a wrinkle in his clothing after a day's work. They were subtle and less likely to fuel whatever fire had started an argument. His observations shifted to Mike once he grew a few inches and the bass became more distinguished in his voice. His comments were harsher, bred with some twisted idea of manhood. A day wouldn’t go by without him being drilled on which was the right career path or how he needed to have more control over his emotions. And yet, no matter how much energy it drained from his core, he’d hear his father drone without pause if it meant he could erase Nancy’s guilt._

_Of course she had felt responsible for his trauma. She was his big sister, making sure he was safe was a top priority. But the extremity of her shame had waned with his recovery, and he didn’t have to look her in the eye without feeling the throbbing ache of her regret. At least before that day she got her letter from Columbia - an expensive, out of state college miles away from Indiana._

_States away from their father and his poor faith in her decisions, stemmed right from her biggest oversight._

_“Hey, I don’t care what Dad says,” Mike said after a while, his words wisping from his mouth. “And I don’t care how many times you’ve blamed yourself for what happened Nance, because_ **_I don’t_** _. It’s not your fault.”_

 _A loud boom rang out, piercing through his walls and everything that mattered. His train of thought, his eardrums,_ **_his skin_** _._ _He was back in Russia; still, breathless, and freezing cold. Not from the frosted domain, but from the frigid lead tearing into bone and bundles of nerves. The ice unsettled his core, leaving him frozen as it came and went like a tidal wave. The next surge was a whole other level, like he had been submerged in a sweltering pool of lava._

_Touch just made the burning that much worse, but the grip around his shoulders cleared his vision, his eyes flying open to Nancy. For a moment, all he could hear was buzzing, not the words falling from her moving lips. The longer he fought to keep his eyes open, the faster the static in his ears faded._

_“... That’s it, control your breath. Just like Hop said, yeah?”_

_With her help, Mike regained control over his breathing, his lungs forcing out one last measured puff._

_“That was a g-gunshot… who the hell goes hunting at this time of night?”_

_“I don’t know. But whatever it is, we’re not sticking around to find out.” She huffed into the steering wheel, her fingers twisting the key back into its sweet spot._

_The engine roared to life, its balanced growls striking his spine with a bone-chilling shudder. His blood ran cold again, but he wasn’t rendered completely motionless like the last time. He could crane his head to the window, scan along the road back to Max’s house, and pivot back to his sister within the same beat._

_“Nancy…_ **_Neil owns a gun_** _.”_

_His revelation filled the air with a hefty thickness, strong enough to freeze the car before it could take flight._


	2. I’d Be Runnin’ Up That Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max had finally been set free from her prison.
> 
> But at what cost?

_Life depended on the existence of oxygen._

_Humans, animals, insects, any living organism_ **_needed_ ** _to be able to breathe in order to function. Surviving without it was like trying to use a radio with a drained battery. It would die before the speaker could finish inputting their call sign, sooner rather than later._

_Air may have been essential to living, but it was also too demanding. Active, turning every corner without a decrease in speed or pause. Like riding a speeding bull and having to hold on for every nonstop, stomach flipping twist. Surviving without breathing was a sanguine concept in theory, but pure fiction when put to the test. The body would fail by fatigue, just as it would cease to exist without air._

_There was a fine balance of both, and Max was still finding hers._

_She thrived in the still vacuum just as much as she did in the zestful world of the living. And yet, when the ride transcended into a rhythm she couldn’t handle, she would hold in her breath. Only seconds of deprived air, and she was enveloped into the cool, tranquil waves of the sea. She would drown if she didn’t reach the surface soon. Still, she always risked another second to relish in the quiet, if not to replenish her flickering spirit. The sensation was all that mattered, not how she was rendered there._

_Something was wrong, though, because she didn’t emerge from the stifling abyss with ease like with her other jaunts. Something - no,_ **_someone_** _-_ _kept her from reaching the surface_ _._

_Max wheezed against the vice-like pressure around her neck, her fingers clawing at the offending hand. They scraped at the thick, brawny muscle, but her lack of oxygen only persisted, darkening her fuzzy sight. She had almost succumbed to her fatigue until the painful grip vanished, releasing her from the chains._

_Air rushed into her lungs, the power of its punch forcing her onto her knees in a violent burst. Coughing only sharpened the burning ache, although it was short lived, easing into a steady flow of gasps. With a hand at the flushed underside of her jaw, she lifted her head to the light._

_The longer Max pursued her scan, the quicker the foggy vignette faded from her gaze. Soon, the spots in her vision were gone, and she could see her mother’s somber gaze. Its gleam was warm, oozing of a devotion she hadn’t seen since her father left. The kind that would have won her over in heartbeat years ago, when she was still a naïve little girl. But she was older, smart enough to see the truth through its charade._

_She was better for it, because she wouldn’t have had half_ _the strength it took to acknowledge the steaming barrel aimed at the floor. Or rather, the trail it had pointed to, leading right to the fallen mass of Camel cigarettes and Jack Daniel’s whiskey._

_“Fuck… You finally got some balls...”_

_Max rose from her slump, teetering back against the wall and far away from Neil. Despite herself, she couldn’t hide from him, or the bitter shudder surging through her nerves. She took it all in, but her eyes kept circling back to the hole in his chest, guarded by a ring of red growing with each passing second._

_Claustrophobia wasn’t her greatest fear and yet she had the urge to shrink where she stood. His booming, choked laughter only added more pressure to the gravity of the situation. The walls closed in, even as his laughter faded with the ringing in her ears. She forced her eyes shut as if the pitch black would erase what was in front of her, but nothing changed when they fluttered back open._

_Her clusterfuck of a life was still there, staring her right in the face. If there was ever a doubt in her mind questioning the level of severity -_ ** _how things couldn’t possibly get any worse_** _-_ _it had been snuffed out by a sharp thud. The loud and obnoxious sound lured her to the corner preceding her bedroom, her wide, ocean irises landing on an equally insufferable figure._

_Mike stumbled headfirst into the chaos, his pace slowing to a stop once he caught sight of the muzzle tipped in his direction. He gulped, keeping his hands stretched above his head._

_“I heard a shot, and we thought- I knew something h-happened, and I remembered your window was still broken.”_

_Her mother lowered the Remington, the smooth surface of its stock scraping her mascara stained cheek. “Karen’s boy… you were with Maxine in the spring… on that field trip to Ohio.”_

_Mike nodded, and Max shot him a furtive glance before she stepped in front of him._

_She made a single, measured advance around her stepfather, her eyes steeling on her mother._

_“Put the gun away, Mom.”_

_Her words were hoarse, bruised from the strain against her vocal chords. Its sound was void of light,_ ** _so_** **_broken_** _, the realization brought pools of wetness to Susan’s red-rimmed eyes._

_“I did it, sweetheart.” She shrugged away her tears with a vehement shake of her head, her lips drawing into a weak smile. “I protected you, just like I promised.”_

_A raging hurricane ravaged the depths of Max’s core, but she thwarted its influence over her exterior, her features free from any rage that could set ablaze the thickening air._

_“You did.” She took another stride forward, but stopped to maintain her distance._

_“_ _And now we don’t need the gun anymore.”_

_Her hand stretched into the space between them, and after a beat, her mother seemed receptive to the plea. However, just after the butt had shifted from the crevice of her arm, flashes of red and blue tinged the window. Even with the curtain, their hues shone through the crystal lens, painting away at the ivory walls._

_It was the deep bellows of the sirens that broke the camel's back, Suzan’s grip around her weapon tightening. Before she could pull it back to her chest, Max seized the stock with both hands._

_“No- no they’re gonna separate us! I need to keep you safe-”_

_“_ ** _You’re gonna hurt me_** _,” Max croaked, choking on the lump that rose to the back of her mouth. “Or yourself. Or my friend and then I will_ _never_ _want to see you again!”_

_Despite her mother’s sobs, she pulled on the rifle, her knuckles turning white against the bruising hold._

_“So if you love me- if you_ _ever_ _loved me, just let go Mom._ **_Please_** _.”_

_Waves of shallow gasps deluged her ears, along with a deep roar and a bang, but she wrote the sounds off as white noise. She tugged one last time, the gun's entire weight forcing her against the back of the skewed sofa._

_Within the same beat, two men in uniform had flanked Suzan from both sides. She fought with great vigor, wailing her daughter’s name as they snatched her up by the backs of her arms. She was no match for their combined strength, and they steered her outside with little to no effort._

_Even after the harrowing cries had faded, Max’s head remained downturned on the rifle. The back end fell beside her foot, one corner ramming into the protruded bone of her ankle. Instead of reacting to the throbbing, she reviewed the state of the weapon in her grasp. She pushed on the safety before moving onto the chamber, her fingers clinging to the bolt before her brain could even finish the command. The cartridge popped out like a hot pocket, launching across the floor faster than she could blink._

_Max flinched when a heavy hand engulfed the forestock, her frazzled eyes meeting the cool but tender gaze._

_Only one man besides her father possessed that kind of warmth, even though it was overshadowed by his inflated arrogance._

_“You shouldn’t be messing with this if you can’t hold it upright,” Jim grunted, tilting his head toward her neck._

_“And_ **_that_ ** _needs more than a coverup.”_

_She scoffed, but the contemptuous breath left her twinging throat as a rasp. “With what money? They'd stick me with a CPS lapdog before I’d even get seen.”_

_“Better than spending the night in my office with an incident report.”_

_Both options were utterly laughable, but her throat twinged every time she spoke. Hell, it ached when she made the slightest of sounds - even_ **_without_ ** _opening her mouth. So, she forfeited her right to choose at all._

_Jim procured the rifle from her loose grip, giving the tarnished specs a once over before passing it off to a gloved hand._

_He parted his lips before his scan could make the trip back to her, a terse command ready and willing to blast from his tongue. However, the words expired as he took in the bloodstained carpet and the stretches of vivid, bold-lettered tape._

_He exhaled and channeled the barest chunk of himself, a benevolence reserved only for his family._

_“I’ll take care of the bill and CPS. I did a few favors for one of their caseworkers back in the day. Damn, she never could turn down a good chili dog…”_

_A carnal fire burned in his steel blue irises, but it was the guttural breath that lured the reappearance of Max’s focus._

_She shot him a glare, one burning with a disgust hot enough to halt the repulsive sound in its tracks._

_“I can get her to hold off on doing anything major, at least until this gets to court,” Jim finished, clearing his throat. “But you’re not staying here, or running off_ _again. We’ll see the doc and take things from there, alright?”_

_He was getting warmer, but nowhere near enough to wipe away her disgruntled frown._

_“For Christ sake…_ **_OK_** _, we’ll come back in the morning for your stuff. Or whatever memento you want to take if it ain’t already in lock up, deal’s not getting better than that.”_

_All the heat had dissipated, yet she kept her gaze sharp for kicks. Soon, it became clear he was no longer amused, and the cheeky twinkle in her eyes finally broke through the smokescreen._

_Eleven swarmed her with a hug the second she set foot outside. Her strength was exceptional, but it was the rate at which she_ **_moved_ ** _that had knocked Max off her guard. Nonetheless, she returned the embrace, allowing the warmth to soothe her frazzled nerves. Her shift in stance unearthed a view of Mike and his statue-like demeanor. Yet, she couldn’t place any emotion in his features. There was always_ **_something_ ** _\- usually a toss up between anger and irritation - but his mouth was firm and his dark eyes were just as obscure._

 _She made a move to part from her best friend, but another bear hug had swept her up before she could complete the partition. Mike’s lanky arms were somehow just as strong, clutching onto her as if it would be their last embrace. When in reality, it was only their first. He was scared, and yet he had pushed past his fear to ensure her safety. He fought for her as a party member - he saw her as a_ ** _friend_** _, contrary to what she had so boldly stated before_ _\- and comfort burned from her chest._

_The longer that warmth had stayed fresh in her thoughts, however, the more her solace cooled to melancholy. It was stupid, and Max wanted to kick herself, but she couldn’t forget the darkness no matter how much light took its place. She didn’t dare overlook the horrors she survived, or the person that had shielded her from all the impact._

_Billy had been many things, but a coward wasn’t one of them. He endured Neil’s barbaric behavior for most of his short life without so much as a peep, shouldering every nasty word, every last bruising punch. Even while he was forced to play nice with a proxy of his mother and a sister he never wanted._

_For the longest time, Max had believed that he was just an asshole who spit in her face, made fun of her friends, and broke her things. Then she woke to shouting one night, and the sound of banging against the walls. She left her room after the apartment had gone silent and found Billy in the bathroom, his eye splattered with the deepest shade of purple she had ever seen. His reflection seethed upon spotting her, but he didn’t snap a curse or insult her way. Instead, he ordered her inside and locked the door._

_His instruction was harsh and straight to the point, but every word was seared into her memory. And once they had made the big move to Indiana, she was confident in her ability to hide a bruise and stitch a cut._

_She could bite her tongue, know when to not let her heat boil over and give her third degree burns. She was still_ **_alive_ ** _because Billy gave her the incentives to survive, even at the cost of his own life. And her innocence._

_He was her brother in the only way that mattered._

  
  


**_Elsewhere…_ **

  
  


_Hip-hop had the power to pump Lucas full of adrenaline. Listening to the sleek rhymes and bumping bass didn’t just hype him up for basketball practice or other exercises aimed to help him stay active, but also kept the mood high during the ordinary parts of his day. Like when he did chores around the house, finished whatever assignment was due, or if he just sat in his room for hours on end. No matter the occasion, there was just something about the genre that could reach him more than rock or other kinds of music._

_The rapping backbeat of Run-D.M.C.’s latest track kept the rhythm of his knee steady, though the reason behind its bouncing arose from the turmoil in his gut. It was a tight, nauseating feeling, sinking in right when his bike accelerated like it didn’t just carry another passenger._

_He carried on - inhaling the cool bursts of wind that smelled like the spicy mint of Max’s shampoo - because he wasn’t the one who had to live in a toxic environment. A supposed_ _home_ _, chewing him up and spitting him right back out. Still, it didn’t ease his jittering nerves, and neither did his first taste of popularity._

_Sure, the party was a nice change of scenery. Lucas didn’t partake in the drinking, but the snacks were decent and he hadn’t been bowling in a while. He could talk away the night, make as many connections as he wanted, but it would have all been tethered to basketball. Or some obsession with money and fame, two things he couldn’t care less about the more they were brought up in conversation. To him, he was in a crowd he didn’t belong, and he would have left without a second thought if he hadn’t run into Chris._

_He was an upperclassman and the Blue Lions’ powerhouse of a player, in spite of his role as the small forward. He played almost every game of the season, even racked up the most rebounds in today’s charity game. But he wasn’t just an athlete or a young man with the same brown skin and just as big (if not bigger) dreams. He had strong ambitions but didn’t shy away from new experiences or new people._

_Their friendship was just beginning, but Lucas already felt more at ease with his decision to make the team. He was going to ace his tryouts in the fall._

_For himself_ **_and_ ** _for his greatest muse._

_“Hm. Just when I think of asking about those honeys drooling over you at the pool, you hit me with that look.”_

_The street lights blurred by Lucas as he swiveled to the driver’s seat, his eyes narrowing at the grin curved his way._

_“That puppy look, man. You’re whipped!”_

_Chris snickered, his gaze dancing between the stretching road and the passenger seat. “You should be focused on learning how to fly those wings,_ _leavin’ the nest_ _. Not lookin’ for a mate before your balls have even dropped.”_

 _“Sounds better than waiting around and missing my chance,_ ** _like_** **_you_** _,” Lucas deflected, wrinkling his nose. “And I can handle both.”_

 _“Not sayin’ you can’t. I just don’t think it’s smart to put so much into one girl in_ **_high school_** _. Especially since things change so much afterwards, you feel me?”_

_Most of the humor had seeped from his tone, leaving behind a hint of reason Lucas couldn’t disregard._

_“But hey, I’m just sayin’ my piece. You won’t really know until you shoot your shot,” Chris shrugged, his grip on the wheel firm while he made the turn into Maple Street._

_“And this girl, she sounds like a real one.”_

_He didn’t know the half of it._ _Max had to have been the realest person Lucas knew. Before he could confirm it with a reply, the car rolled to a stop in front of his mailbox._

_He dove a hand to the seatbelt before hovering over the gearshift._

_“Thanks for the ride, and the girl advice.”_

_Chris matched his beaming features, his own palm flexing to meet in the middle of their handshake._

_“Don’t sweat it. B-Boys gotta stick together, yeah?”_

_Lucas gave a fervent nod, his fingers lingering on the last twisting glide. He turned to exit the car and retrieve his bike from the trunk, but froze upon opening the door, his gaze finding his mother’s silhouette._

_He pulled his brows together at her race down the driveway, but a smile had still been present in his expression. But , the light dwindled, just like his breathing as soon as he sensed the gloom laced within her dark eyes._

**_“Baby, it's Maxine… There’s been an accident.”_ **

_He recycled those exact words, without pause. He had no other choice, because he left for Hawkins Memorial as soon as he heard them. They were all he heard, even when Chris had tried to calm his worries with spirited yet misguided reassurances._

_The resonance was less severe once he finally raced through the sliding, crystalline doors of the emergency room. But they were still louder than his own words, no matter how much he amplified the volume of his voice. It was a miracle he was even able to speak at all under the palpitating pressure in his chest, let alone in a coherent and direct manner._

_He was in the middle of hounding another nurse with his questions when his gaze wandered to the waiting room. A third of the weight tumbled from his shoulders at the sight of Mike, hunched over the edge of the chair._

_Lucas’ approach, although slower than his previous pace, stirred him from his thoughts. “Have they said anything about Max?! How is she?”_

_“Rattled, but still with us. Hopper wanted to make sure she was in the clear - better to be safe than sorry - and all that,” Mike sighed, plucking a stray string from a hole in his jeans. “Can’t say the same for Neil, though. Asswipe isn’t safe but he sure as hell_ **_is_ ** _sorry, a bullet’ll do that.”_

_Just when the tension in his fists had eased, they grew rigid tenfold. As did the rest of his muscles._

_“B-bullet-! He shot her?!”_

_“No,_ **_I told you_ ** _she was fine. Just another bruise, but it’s getting treated in one of the rooms down the- Hey!”_

_Mike shot from his seat, his thin fingers forming a surprisingly strong wall against the rock hard frame._

_“We’re supposed to wait here. No death wish is worth pissing off the chief.”_

_“Oh yeah? Not even if it was Eleven instead?” Lucas shot back, waiting only a moment for the silence to prolong before he continued. “Exactly. We wouldn’t even be_ **_speaking_ ** _right now because you’d already be in the room with her! That’s where I’m going.”_

_Once again, he made a move to pass, shrugging off the hand pressed against his collar. However, just when he thought he had the last word, the pressure returned. Only it was a taut grip around his shoulder._

_“If this were El, I’d be thanking you for stopping me from making a fool out of myself. After_ **_everything_** _, she can take care of herself and so can Max. The last thing she needs is to worry about your ego-”_

 _“Last time I checked, it was_ **_your ego_ ** _that hurt her when she moved here.”_

_He yanked his arm free, his words boiling over faster than he could put a lid on them. “But that doesn’t matter because she shouldn’t have to keep fighting for her life every fucking day!”_

_Mike clenched his jaw, and Lucas chalked it off as a reaction to his outburst. He was in for a rude awakening when he whirled around. All of that pent up fury in his soul faded as soon he met her stare, glossy with a haze he didn’t recognize._

_Her features were just as clouded, holding such a firm grip over his attention. Lucas didn’t register Nancy’s expression as she passed him to reach her brother. Or the steaming, bitter aroma of coffee she had left in her wake. He didn’t_ _understand_ _the weight of his words until she plodded towards him, the glossy sheen over her ocean irises softening his resolve._

_“Max… I didn’t- I’m sorry.”_

_“Why? Mom’s off to jail, step-prick is stuck in a hospital bed, probably for good._ **_I’m free_** _.” She shook her head, her lips pulling into an all too shaky smile._

_It trembled from her face as soon it came, but her gaze didn’t waver. Even as she shuddered at the brush of his touch, the chills inducing her to sidestep away from his warmth._

_“Hop’s still back there with the papers. I’m gonna stay with El. So thanks, but… I don’t need you.”_

_A white lie, too trivial to ease the ache in Max’s heart, which seared her more than her sore throat. And yet, she bore it without a crack in her cold exterior. As soon as she stepped into the just as frigid dusk - Eleven adjoined at her hip - it crumbled like the feeble structure of a kicked sand castle. She was more unkempt, nipping a sore inside her cheek to stop that stupid sob from tearing free._

_She did need Lucas, but need was a hell of a drug._

_The more she relied on him, the less she trusted in herself. That lack of faith would spiral into an endless cycle of sacrifices. None of them could compare to what he had already surrendered: his time, his heart,_ **_his sense of peace_** _._

_She couldn’t take any more from him without selling her very soul._

_So she didn’t._

_Max gathered her own shattered pieces and glued them back together._

_It took four sleepless nights and three fuzzy days of settling into her new normal. There were moments that still felt like she had been chewed up and spit back out, but she had a whole household to make sure she was comfortable. Even when she was too prideful to accept their support, which had also been too persistent from Hopper’s end._

_On the bright side, his backyard had a lake._

_The waters were murky, an ugly shade of green paling in comparison to the vibrant blue of the West Coast. And the waves were nonexistent, besides the occasional ripple from whatever creature lurked beneath her toes. The air, however, remained unchanged by the turbulence of the land._

_Max took a breath, allowing the stale odor to wash away all the ill thoughts from her mind. Once the raw lacerations from her inflictions had healed, her eyes flicked to the envelope in her lap._

_She ripped off the seal before she could change her mind, her fingers sliding free with a folded sheet of paper. Revealing the contents was a whole other marathon entirely. Her true point of no return. Yet, she took another leap of faith and perused through each word._

  
  


**_November 1st, 1985_ **

**_My Little Big Tooth,_ **

**_I lost the right to call you that after I left. I’m not even sure I deserve to write this, but I do know that you deserve the world. And that includes a halfway decent essay from your old man. Bear with me, I hated writing those in school._ ** **_Speaking of... you’re in high school now! How’s that going? Any boys OR girls (a father always knows) I should address this to next time? Cuz’ I’d be more than happy to send a rule book. Or hit the road, you just say the word and I’m there. Though I’d probably have a heart attack because you’re not so little anymore._ **

**_I don’t regret splitting with your mother, it was the best move for the both of us. I do hate that we hurt you though, more than anything. That’s the last thing I would ever wanna do. But you’re a Mayfield, strength is in your DNA._ ** **_Although, one thing I would change about our genes is the warm blood. Yes, unfortunately you get that from me. I bet the winters are god awful there, but I know you’re managing just fine. Better than I would, that’s for sure._ **

**_Anyways, I miss you kiddo. More than you’ll ever believe. I hope this reaches you as soon as possible, and in mint condition._ ** **_If you’ll have me, I want to be in your life. No matter what way that is or how small a role, I will be there. Always._ **

**_I love you,_ **

**_Dad_ **

**_P.S - I figured you missed the shore, so this shot of my drive to Surfrider should make you feel right at home. Number’s on the back!_ **

  
  


_A stray tear fell, dotting the ink of her father’s signature. Despite the droplet’s size, it made swift work smearing the margin of his last name. Instead of fretting over the stain, Max unveiled the photograph from its shadow behind the letter._

_Radiant light scoured the top edge. However, no matter the brilliance of its shine, the luster couldn’t compare to the dazzling smile. She swept over his face, imagining the light hairs of his beard and the bluest of eyes. In an instant, she was there, testing the limits of the deep end. She was eight years old again, digging mole-sized holes in the sand, fixed on finding scraps of buried treasure._

_She was_ **_home_** _, but affinity came from more than just a place._

_Soft, recurrent thudding trembled the floorboards, staggering her back to the present. The footfalls were deliberate, dawdling at a slower pace with each step._

_Once the wood groaned at least a foot away from her back, she sighed, squinting at the clouds._

_“Either I’m too predictable, or you’ve finally added ‘improved stealth’ to your stalking résumé.”_

_“Both, but I get plenty of practice.”_

_Max bit back a snort, her head craning to Lucas. After a brief once-over of his loose-fitting attire, she deduced he had just finished his workout for the day. The box bolstered in his glistening arms, however, threw her for a loop._

_He smirked, his glance loitering an inch behind to treasure her adorable, wrinkled nose._

_“I heard you still had some stuff at the house, so I got the rest of it. Along with some…_ **_other items_** _.”_

_His eyes flashed brighter than his grin, prompting her own stare to narrow. She couldn’t wait for him to adjust the box after he had set it down, shooting a hand out to the nearest corner. Upon the first peek, her scan moved with haste, counting every crinkled comic book and tarnished VHS tape. But the longer she explored, the more she discovered things._

**_Prized possessions_ ** _from her stash at the junkyard: her softball gear, a rope of bandannas, a baggy sweatshirt, the snow globe she had been gifted last Christmas. Even the shark plushies took shelter in the box, guarding the edge with their flimsy- and not so menacing - lines of teeth._

_“How did you…” Max reached for the biggest cartilaginous fish, her fingers pinching around the soft, crescent tail._

_“_ ** _Why_ ** _did you bring these?”_

_“They were just sitting there, collecting dust in a grave of literal junk. I know we put them there so they wouldn’t get trashed, but since Neil’s out of the picture... I don’t know. I thought they could finally come home.”_

_His shrug masked the swell of his heart before joining her at the edge. The heat from her flushed stare only made the inflammation worse, but he ignored it and directed a peek at the envelope in her hand. Despite the time limit, he could make out the address, the sight suspending his heart from spiraling._

_“Cypress Drive, San Diego… Wait! That’s from your dad?”_

_“Nope, just a love letter from Nate. Y’know, the doofus who got me into skateboarding. My old, first_ **_best friend_** _.”_

_Laughter strong armed its way through her sneer, the muffled sound only growing deeper at his petulant scowl. Soon, she put the joke out of its misery with a breath, peering down at the ink of her father’s handwriting._

_“It’s kinda funny. I haven’t heard his voice in so long, I thought I’d forgotten it,” Max began, her vision blurring despite her dry, focused eyes. “And then when I read it, I could hear him as if he were sitting right here - I could hear_ **_echoes_ ** _of him after I found it there, just sitting on my mom’s vanity. Even when…”_

_Without thinking, she raised a hand to her neck, her knuckles brushing trails against the red skin there. She could sense his eyes without meeting them, dark and clouded with a sporadic fury._

_Every spark came from a place of love, his endless supply of warmth. But with a lit match, that heat could just as easily fuel an explosion._

_“You were so mad that night, you would have hit him. Mike.”_

_Lucas stiffened under her allegation, but the strain in his muscles hadn’t been a result of shock._

_“If you didn’t step in? Yeah, probably.”_

_A still fog clouded the air as the waters of the horizon lapped with undulation. He became mesmerized with each flicker of light. Before he could get sucked into a never ending loop, a soft voice broke him out of his spell. Softer than the barbs of a feather, but heavy._

**_Thick_ ** _with more emotion than he had ever thought she could express._

_“You have the biggest heart, Lucas. That’s what I love about you, y’know.”_

_He turned to her, his russet irises stretching almost three sizes as soon as he caught on to her watering eyes. Of course, they were barred by the bags of her eyelids, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to erase their very existence._

_Max inhaled a sharp breath, her eyebrows pulling in a frown._

_“But it's so…_ **_infuriating_ ** _sometimes. You can’t always drop everything to protect me when shit hits the fan, it’s not fair -_ _it’s not_ ** _healthy_** _. If we’re ever gonna get to that beach house, you need to have a little more faith in me.”_

 _“I_ **_do_ ** _trust you,” Lucas defended, his voice light in spite of the heavy timbre. “More than anything.”_

_Again, an itch to cut her from his peripheral vision flared within his core. But he couldn’t, not while she had eyed him with a searing ardor._

_“It’s everything else that I doubt. You’re the strongest person I know, Max, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing you didn’t have to be.”_

_“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have these scars,” she breathed, brushing a finger along the distended vein inside her wrist. “They’re ugly, and they sting sometimes when I look at them. But I-_ **_I’m still here_** _.”_

_A stream of wetness broke through the floodgates, but she dried it with the back of her hand before it could drip to her chin._

_“And now I do whatever the_ _fuck_ _I want with_ _whoever_ _the_ _fuck_ _I want...”_

_Lucas’ brows flew to his forehead at the tantalizing shift in her tone, but it was the abruptness in her change of expression that had rendered him a complete mess. He gulped, too attentive on the flicker of her coy smile and fluttering eyelashes to notice her red herring. By the time he broke from his trance, liquid with the bulk of a water balloon had socked him in the face._

_He rubbed at his eyes with furious vigor, a viscous mix of snot and dank lake water blustering from his nostrils. His vision was a blurry mess when he opened his eyes, but the view of her fleeing figure forced him to a staggering stand._

_“Oh, you are so done!”_

_“_ **_And you’re too slow_ ** _!”_

_Max was fast, but there had been one little detail she failed to remember: she wasn’t the only one with rocket-powered legs. She was on a high, too pumped of thrilling adrenaline to anticipate her sudden spring from the ground._

_If it were anyone else’s arms hugging her frame, she would have put more power into her blows against his back - more pitch in her vivacious shrieking. But it wasn’t just anyone else -_ _no one’s touch could leave such a fixed, yet_ ** _soft_** _imprint on her skin_ _._

 _Still, no matter how snug his warmth felt, she downright_ **_refused_ ** _to be some beach ball he could toss into the water. Hitting him wouldn’t work, even the most sensitive parts of his body were immune to her stabbing. The card didn’t leave her sleeve until she launched an audacious kick to his foot. Her toes scuffed against “The Swoosh” emblem of his sneakers, smearing a tire track across the pristine center._

_“Lucas- Just think about this, OK? You’ll ruin your Jordan’s! You’re g-golden ticket to the NBA!”_

_He slowed to a stop just before he crossed into the shoreline. For a moment, all she could feel was his pulse racing behind hers, coupled with his hands while they rested over her waist. It took a minute to trick her into thinking she had won, and even less to flip the script._

_“Yeah, you’re right… It_ **_would_ ** _be a shame for them to go out like this.”_

_Lucas hauled her off the ground again, timing the momentum boost with his legs as he brought the insides of his feet together. The friction was firm enough to underpin the removal, leaving his ankles in nothing but elastic cotton. With her frame secured in his grasp, he made a mad dash for the lake. Turbid water frothed above his knees, but he rode the tides of the lake and Max’s thread of indecent threats._

_She was the first to get soaked, her denim shorts and graphic t-shirt drenched to the bone. Her hair wasn’t spared in the flood either, the blazing tendrils clumped in one wave over her shoulder. In spite of the sun’s blinding shine, the arresting tone of her mane couldn’t hold a match to the livid heat in her cheeks. They scorched like a forest fire, setting her whole face ablaze. Even the tips of her ears burned, red with a ferocity hot enough to spook an outsider to their very soul._

_He knew her well enough to deviate between the temperatures of her heat. She was angry, sure, but there was an artless gleam to her ocean irises, a light he hadn’t seen since that night at Starcourt. They were playful, endearing even as she launched her attack, pelting him with wave after wave. He took each one like a champion, but not before sending off a few brisk slashes of his own._

_Somewhere along the way, Hopper’s booming voice had cut through their match. Max could make out his famous “three inches” rule, but the words went over her head like the lake she waded through. She was too keen on catching Lucas, her hands shooting to his back. She soared into the air like a fish out of water, but he spun so fast, she had missed her predetermined landing pad._

_Again, his hands clutched her by the waist, droplets spritzing all around them._

_“Surrender now, and I’ll spare you."_

_She arched a damp brow, her hands latching to the shamrock green straps of his top._

_“Oh yeah, from what? A wounded ego? I don’t know… sounds more like_ **_your_ ** _thing.”_

_He studied her features, his own dimming with each passing second. It wasn’t until her grip had tightened on his clothing, yanking his face an inch closer to hers, that he made his move. He captured her mouth in a sizzling siege, his arms welding around the small of her back._

_Max was numb against him, yet the feeling came flooding back to her singed nerves once she gathered the strength to match his speed. Soon, she rivaled him in every facet, her touch burning hotter than his while she parted his lips. However, just as her fingers had dug into the trimmed curls at his nape, a glacial cold replaced the caress of his warm skin._

_She was stunned from the climate shift, but a peal of raffish cackling pierced through her dark realm._

_“Who’s ‘too slow’ now?!”_

_Her eyes flew open to witness Lucas sprinting away. She caught his smirk just in time, her gaping stare pinched to seething slits._

_Two can play that game, and she had every intention of winning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes Part 6! Hope you guys enjoyed. As always, please bookmark/kudo and comment your favorite part. I love hearing your thoughts/constructive criticism.
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> XD


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